Only Meant to Help

“The road to Hell is paved with good intentions.”

Originally: "L'enfer est plein de bonnes volontés et désirs." (hell is full of good wishes and desires)

-Bernard of Clairvaux

      Have you noticed how nearly everyone seems to be trying to help someone or improve something? What most people lack is a clear understanding of the entirety of the issues they are trying to address and therefore engage in actions, which tend to be counterproductive and sometimes harmful. While volunteering in a food kitchen to feed the homeless on Thanksgiving is noble and can bring cheer and warmth to people, it will not magically give them stability, work and a permanent home of their own. At the end of the day you will feel great about the good deeds you have done - give yourself a nice congratulatory pat on the back and return to your comfortable abode, while the homeless people will return to their shelters, the streets, and their disenfranchised, forgotten and overlooked lives.

          In New York, one of several ways to really address the homeless issue would mean improving the statewide psychiatric system and its policies of deinstitutionalization. Many of New York's homeless are people who need psychological help (not just turkey and gravy; substance abuse and addiction are by the way real psychological problems and are outlined as such in the Diagnostic Statistical Manual). If enough people raise the issue with their local representatives and state legislature, and/or if enough private funding is appropriated through the proper channels, things can improve.  But, this does not happen. It is easier to give a buck to someone on the street and keep it moving than to do thorough research on the issue to come up with real solutions. "I gave some money to this guy, he got high as hell. Now I'm part of the problem far as I could tell, did I do it for him or do it for myself?" (Jay-Z - Nickles and Dimes)

           History is full of great ideas gone terribly wrong. The French revolution - the birth and bastion of modern democracy, which turned into a a hyper-reactive tyrannical bloodbath and is more famous for the number of heads rolling through the streets from the guillotine than for the virtues of its success. It wasn't until much later and at a much slower pace that a stable representative parliamentary democracy was established in France. Let's not overlook another wonderful social experiment: communism.  Five year plans usually look very good on paper. Man-made famines due to incompetence, hatred and boorish stubbornness leading to mass starvation and cannibalism aren't quite as nice. On a different note, Cuba is still far from recovered from its own glorious revolution. And while 1950's cars look amazing on postcards, they, along with crumbling buildings, have not been very practically useful to the residents of Havana.     

          On a more general everyday level you need not to look hard and far to find some of the worst perpetrators of good intentions gone bad. Well meaning parents and friends are among the most devious culprits of unintentional fiascoes, mishaps and tragedies. Take for instance the overprotective parents. What do they intend to do with their smothering, fear mongering and strict prohibitive rules? They want nothing more than to keep their children away from harm (ALL OF IT...COMPLETELY). What usually tends to happen is either their children grow up socially inept, awkward, insecure, with occasional deep seated psychological problems, and/or they rebel wildly to then spend much of their adulthood piecing their life back together. Clearly not what the parents had intended, nor the best outcome for all parties involved.

         Then there are the parents who baby their children - do everything for them to show the magnitude of their love and to make their kids' lives easier (many times these parents are the same ones as described above). This leaves the poor hapless children (in the form of semi to fully crippled adults) usually overly dependent, with few skills and desires to fend for themselves or to work hard to achieve anything, along with a poor sense of reality. Any minuscule hardship becomes over-burdensome and crippling to them and life's challenges and risks are avoided as much as possible. Finally, let's not overlook the tiger moms (and dads), who want their children to excel and be their best selves so they can get ahead in life. In return, all the pressure leaves the kids anxious, burnt out and feeling that whatever they do is never good enough (The Myth of the Ivy League). Such parents may be thanked for keeping suicide rates in prestigious universities consistently well above the national average. It is hard to imagine that anyone would wish such circumstances on their precious offspring, and they genuinely do not, but these tend to be some of the outcomes in reality.   

           The faulty mechanism in many close knit relationships is a basic lack of understanding of what is really needed. The old and overused idiom of "do onto others as you would have them do unto you" does not always work and needs revision. People are all different with divergent perspectives, personalities, desires and needs. What may make you happy and well may bring misery and problems to someone else. No finer example need be consulted than an episode of Disney's Winnie the Pooh (Winnie the Pooh - Donkey for a Day). In this case all the animals (led by Tiggr) tried to cheer up Eeyore according to their own interests, tastes and understanding because they assumed he was sad, especially when he would sit alone on a hill watching clouds. Their thoughtful methods traumatized and nearly killed the unlucky donkey, who actually was quite content to sit on his hill and marvel at the majestic beauty of the clouds passing by above him during colorful sunsets. Everyone knows the dreadful outcomes which sometimes follow when certain individuals meddle to offer you help, and take care of things for you. After a while you begin to come up with excuses and emergency escape strategies and look for the closest bush to dive into as soon as you see these people approaching. Of course they mean no harm - just trying to be helpful. To which the best reply is - "do me a favor, don't do me no favors, I'll handle mine" (Jay-Z - Thank You).

            Good intentions without proper expertise, testing, planning and tweaking also have disastrous effects on a more global scale. How many times have we seen commercials of dying children with pleas for donations and heard of amazing new development NGOs, with cutting edge ideas, and big funding? In many cases things do not go according to plan and sometimes the intended help does more harm than good. "Money and good intentions are not enough to fight poverty effectively" (Dean Karlan - More Evidence, Less Poverty, Scientific American. Oct, 2015). What is argued correctly by Professor Karlan is that the scope of what is to be accomplished should be simple, concrete and should take into account human behavior to increase efficacy. As the article pointed out, a simple bag of lentils being given out at clinics where immunizations are offered gave enough incentives for people to come in for shots and has increased the number of children being immunized in rural India sixfold. On the other hand when proposed ideas (irrespective of how good they sound) are too broad, not well defined, are scaled up too quickly and are implemented in disparate areas without proper testing and monitoring, a lot of dire consequences and lost money follow suit (Michael Hobbes - Stop Trying to Save the World). 

       Then there is the baby genius approach. "And I can't help the poor if I'm one of them, so I got rich and gave back, to me that's a win, win" (Jay-Z - Moment of Clarity). This is also the Warren Buffett and Bill and Melinda Gates approach, which we love. Before getting into philanthropy they made their fortunes and spent years learning all about the world's disparities and which issues affect the greatest number of people. They spoke extensively to experts and came up with a game plan of what they would like to achieve with their money and efforts. They picked very narrow issues (like malaria and child mortality), teamed up with doctors, scientists and all sorts of real experts to figure out what methods are likely to work best. They then used quantifiable data to test whether or not things were working and discarded or tweaked problematic and inefficient projects. While Bill uses statistical analysis and big data sets, Melinda speaks to people on the ground to ask them what they need. She gets to know the people they are working to help. She likes to gain an understanding of their perspectives and life circumstances. Bill and Melinda then come together and share their findings and ideas, and come to rational conclusions, agreements and decisions after listening to each other. Their methods and efforts have been highly successful (for the most part).

         Getting back to those dying children we pity on television. Yes, their dire circumstances exist. Yes, you can help feed and clothe them with a few cents a day. And, yes this may be a good thing to do. However, we will never end the cycle of poverty this way. Some of the best ways that have been shown to actually make improvements in the long term (not everywhere and not under all circumstances) are to improve agricultural techniques, educate children (especially girls), give women access to proper contraceptives (even if it means they use them secretly without the males' knowledge) and give women in their families control of the purse strings. Evidence suggests that men tend to drink, smoke and gamble away excess (and sometimes not excess) funds, while women tend to be concerned with stretching the money for the benefit of the entire household.

         In the end, the duty that befalls us all is to be aware of the possible implications of our actions and thoughts. We need to stop and think for a bit before making a decision to help someone. Are we really making things better? Is this a problem I am capable of correcting right now and with what I have to offer? Is there a more useful way I can make a real difference? We should be wary of quick and immediate proposed solutions to broad problems. We should not expect there to be fast and easy blanket fix-alls to complex issues. If you want to help start small and simple and before helping others make sure your own house is in order. While it is noble to share with others what little you have, two people ending up in serious financial trouble is worse than one. If you can't swim yourself it is not a good idea to attempt to rescue a person from drowning. "It's much bigger issues in the world, I know, But I first had to take care of the world I know” (Jay-Z, Kingdom Come). For our part, while we would love to improve the world now, we promise before making any attempts to do so we are going to make sure we have the capacity to do it properly.