Too Big for the Shell

"I awoke only to find the rest of the world asleep."

-Leonardo Da Vinci

         There is an inexplicable feeling we get which signifies that things aren't quite right. Something is off, uncomfortable and even suffocating. Things feel like they no longer fit. People feel like they no longer fit. Conversations become forced; awkward. You try doing the things you once enjoyed and find yourself utterly bored - wishing you were elsewhere. If any of this sounds familiar, most likely you are experiencing personal growth.

        While there is great cause to celebrate, a dark side coexists. Growth, at its core, is uncomfortable, painful, often times very lonely, and for the most part one is totally unaware that it is happening, until you have reached the next plateau - the next epoch in one's life. Once you become aware of what is happening, the question then becomes: what are you going to do about it? How many times can you try to force a situation, pretend that everything is alright, before you finally realize it is all a waste of time and drain of energy. At some point the frustration boils over into the "that's it, I'm done" moment. Sadly, that moment is fleeting for many. As emotions simmer down, our "that's it, I'm done" moment turns into the "this is the last time" ritual. One with its own, all too predictable, flow and ebb cycles. It is as if an invisible chain is shackled snug around your neck, which lets you get only so far out the door, then snags sharply and pulls you right back in.

         Why do so many linger for so long in their old skins, while others never release their grip from them altogether? Comfort and fear. Both are very understandable. Fear of the unknown is quite strong indeed. There is always a chance of ending up in a worse situation than the one you are leaving - "straight from the frying pan and into the fire" (Aesop's Fables). In the short run, there is a span of time when it will certainly feel this way. This is the time when insecurities and doubts creep in and play terrible mind games on you. There is also the added emotion of sadness in leaving behind a world that was comfortable; one that brought you much joy and many fond memories. Nostalgia can hold you back and even trap you in a permanent purgatory...neither here nor there. It takes strength and sober reason to wake up from this dream. "I should'a been did it but been in a daze though, I put friends over business end of the day though" (Jay-Z, Lost One)

           A third harrowing culprit also exists in the gauntlet preventing people from realizing their potentials: expectations, desires and insecurities of others - manifested through close relatives, lovers and friends, along with societal traditions/mores. Many allow the dictates of acceptable norms stymie their potential. Can you imagine what the world would have missed if Massimo Bottura did not take it upon himself to reinvent classical Italian cuisine or if Niki Nakayama accepted that Kaiseki was only intended to be carried out by male chefs and did not infuse the tradition with her own unique style? If Eminem accepted that rapping was just for minorities; if Charles Dickens accepted that he should remain in poverty, pasting labels on blacking bottles instead of writing, or if Malala Yousafzai did not fight for the idea that women too deserve a chance at education, the world would have missed a slew of exceptional talent. How much more talent never breaks through to the surface because so many have not dared to dare? How many people know well they have outgrown their surroundings but still choose to remain put? 

          Sure, leaving safe shores for the first time is scary. It feels like you're stranded in the middle of the ocean during a terrible storm, until, like Odysseus or Sinbad the Sailor, you finally wash ashore with the last bit of strength to awaken in the morning with the sun shining gently on your face. But the world will not open up until you finally let go with both hands and leave safe harbor. Granted, certain people will not be happy with your decisions and will not accept who you are now. "Everybody look at you strange, say you changed, like you work that hard to stay the same" (Jay-Z, Most Kingz). No matter what, it is worth spreading your wings forth and leaping. It is instrumental that you climb to your personal summit, irrespective of how lonely it is once you are up there, or how perilous and long the journey may be.