Beneath the Surface
Roman Matveyev
"And give a fuck what type of brand you are. I'm concerned what type of man you are. What your principles and standards are. You understand me ya'll?"
-Mos Def - Sunshine
Too often we look at people and make blanket statements about them. What is it about one person which signals to us they are good and another one not as much? Most often the benchmark is similarity to ourselves and our ideals. We are quick in being dismissive of anything foreign without taking the time out to see the world through the lens of another person. Yet, the world is never black and white. Not only are there shades of grey, but a whole spectrum of colors. Attending church every Sunday and clinging to Psalms (or following any tradition blindly and ardently), while sending condescending glances at all those less "pious" doesn't make anyone a good person. Neither does marching for vaguely defined "global changes," without thoroughly considering how, why and if these changes can and should be implemented. Going on Yoga retreats, being gluten free, or bathing exclusively with artisanal-vegan-animal-cruelty-free soap, all the while sending those very same condescending vibes towards "ignorant dregs," has little reflection on the inner goodness of people.
You do not have to agree with somebody to understand their point of view, nor to respect it. A non believer can be brought close to tears of love at a religious ceremony. This has less to do with finally being saved and seeing the light of religion, but more out of a joy for a family, which he considers his own; in seeing how sincere they are in their devotion at a pivotal event in their lives. This same non-believer can pick up gems of wisdom in parts of a pastor's sermon, irrespective of whether or not he agrees with its underlying premise. The crucial ingredient is empathy, which comes about by placing oneself in the position of the other. By taking the time out to understand somebody's background, life experiences and current circumstances it is easier to see why people think and behave the way they do; easier to relate to them and treat them with dignity and respect.
Education, wealth, intelligence, and social standing are not the same as integrity, honesty and kindness. The two sets do not always go hand in hand. "Human beings are so complex...you can't say that guy is a drug dealer, he's a bad guy. Or, that guy is a lawyer he's good...or, that guy is a preacher and he's great...we've seen preachers do wrong, we've seen drug dealers do good" (Jay-Z, Charlie Rose Interview at the Brooklyn Museum). The same idea was reflected by Alexandre Dumas in the literary classic, The Count of Monte Cristo (if Jay-Z's words are not good enough for you). Edmond Dantes, after being mercilessly betrayed and mistreated by honorable members of society, with all their selfish and jealous sentiments, ironically, found loyalty and camaraderie amongst smugglers. "Tis strange that it should be among such men that we find proofs of friendship and devotion." For us, a rapper, a former drug dealer may have more to teach about life than a dean of a prestigious university, a chief of police, or a spiritual guru. The trick is not to be tricked by the outer appearances of people, but to dig a bit deeper to understand what they really have to offer as human beings.